Divorce and Death

I have had many people, more than I expected actually, compare their break-ups or divorce to the death of my husband. While I am beyond empathetic for those going through a difficult break-up or divorce it is not the same as a death. It just isn’t. There is a big difference in someone being gone... Continue Reading →

Scars and A Purpose 

I have many scars from this life. Some of my scars are superficial, barely noticeable at all. While others are deeper, scars people can not see on the outside but I carry them with me daily. Then there are the scars I choose. Today I got two beautiful tattoos done. One, of a bluebird. My... Continue Reading →

A Beautiful Ride 

I've been thinking about something for a little while now. A thought crossed my mind..."What would people remember about my life, and me, should I die tomorrow?" I've been pondering this thought for some time. If someone had to put the story of my life in a category, what would they choose? Would my life... Continue Reading →

I’m different now 

Well, it's been too long since I posted last. Sometimes I'm not sure what to even say. That I miss my husband? Yep, still do. That I'm lonely? And not just a normal kind of lonely but a lonely deep in your bones that only having your spouse back could heal? Yep, I feel that... Continue Reading →

The Ache that Lasts a Lifetime

As I sit here in my very quiet home I ache inside, physically ache. I'm missing Erik in everything that I do. I look around and the sight of couples and families is everywhere. As I grocery shop, walk around a store, do anything...I feel as though I have a big "W" burned into my... Continue Reading →

It’s Ok to Cry 

I've realized just when you think you are "done" with something that that's usually the very moment it comes back. For many months after Erik passed away I cried every single time I was driving home from work, and most times even once I arrived. At some point I skipped a night, maybe even two.... Continue Reading →

Some Things Never Leave You

I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't been able to put my thoughts and feelings to paper recently, it's hard to explain. But today I'm going to talk about some of the issues or PTSD symptoms someone can have after going through something like this, specifically what I go through.  First, let me... Continue Reading →

Now what?

I'm not sure what I expected the 1 year anniversary to "feel" like but I don't think it's what I expected. The day started out ok, I woke up and got ready and went to hangout with my stepkids. This kept my mind busy and we had a fun time. They always bring me joy... Continue Reading →

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