The "what-ifs", these are some of the hardest things to work through during the grief journey. It brings out regret, guilt and anger. Recently I had an appointment with a cardiologist to have a stress test performed. For those who don't know what that is, it's basically having pictures of your heart taken, then walking … Continue reading The “What-ifs” Can Eat At You After The Death Of A Loved One
So a few weeks ago I was watching a Friends episode, maybe you know it, it was the one where Monica and Chandler go talk to a pregnant woman who they might potentially adopt from. There is a moment when Chandler is talking to the woman alone and he says, "I love my wife more … Continue reading Grieving The Child We Never Got To Have
2016, the year everything changed. Last year when it struck midnight, as I kissed my husband, I thought this would be my first full year as his wife, I thought it would be the beginning of so many things for us. Instead this year was the ending of so much. On March 3 my husband … Continue reading 2016- The Year Everything Changed
This is a rough writing, one I don't plan to reread or correct after I write it so it may have some issues but I just had thoughts and feelings that needed to get out. I've been sitting here thinking about this past year. I know I already posted about it but I wanted to … Continue reading How Can Time Continue When The World Ended That Day?
I haven't written a blog in about a month. Honestly I haven't had the energy to even think about it. It's been a trying few weeks. Holiday season is tough and it's my first time experiencing it as a widow. I've noticed that sometimes the anticipation of a holiday, or really any special occasion/event, can be … Continue reading 5 Things That I’ve Experienced After Loss Leading Up to Christmas
Grief is ugly. It's brutal. It shows up with force when you least expect it and brings you to your knees. It's unapologetic. It's relentless. I'll give you a glimpse into it. I could never truly describe it in words that could make you understand unless you, yourself, have been through it as well. The … Continue reading Grief is Ugly, but God is Good
What does November mean to me? It means the dreaded question- "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Well, to be honest, probably nothing. I will most likely stay at home and I will also go sit with Erik. I do not want to celebrate. I don't want to know there is an empty seat and … Continue reading Someone Survived. Having Hope After The Loss Of My Husband
So I looked at my "On this day" on Facebook and there in front of me was a post I made a year ago. It was this picture of my husband & I during our first dance at our wedding reception and it said "One month down, a lifetime to go!❤️" It's so surreal. Looking … Continue reading In A Moment, It Can All Change
This is going to be a quick little post to share something I consider very special. The other day I was leaving to take my stepdaughter to school & laying right beside my car were two white/grey feathers. Something about the feeling I got when I saw them, I just knew it was him. He … Continue reading Feathers – Sometimes It’s The Little Things After Loss That Mean So Much
So this week I had a topic I was going to write about, I had been thinking about it a lot this week. Well the Lord changed my mind today. This morning, if I'm being honest, I wanted to sleep-in. I laid there debating..."I could just lay here & get some more sleep or I … Continue reading The Grace I Have Experienced After Losing My Husband
The Bluebird Widow 