Well, it's been too long since I posted last. Sometimes I'm not sure what to even say. That I miss my husband? Yep, still do. That I'm lonely? And not just a normal kind of lonely but a lonely deep in your bones that only having your spouse back could heal? Yep, I feel that … Continue reading I’m Different Now – How Grief Changes You
As I sit here in my very quiet home I ache inside, physically ache. I'm missing Erik in everything that I do. I look around and the sight of couples and families is everywhere. As I grocery shop, walk around a store, do anything...I feel as though I have a big "W" burned into my … Continue reading The Ache that Lasts a Lifetime – Life After Loss
I've realized just when you think you are "done" with something that that's usually the very moment it comes back. For many months after Erik passed away I cried every single time I was driving home from work, and most times even once I arrived. At some point I skipped a night, maybe even two. … Continue reading It’s Ok to Cry
I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't been able to put my thoughts and feelings to paper recently, it's hard to explain. But today I'm going to talk about some of the issues or PTSD symptoms someone can have after going through something like this, specifically what I go through. First, let me … Continue reading Some Things Never Leave You – Dealing With PTSD After A Death
I'm not sure what I expected the 1 year anniversary to "feel" like but I don't think it's what I expected. The day started out ok, I woke up and got ready and went to hangout with my stepkids. This kept my mind busy and we had a fun time. They always bring me joy … Continue reading Now what? Figuring Out Your Life After Loss
Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of my husband passing away. I sat down to write about that day and then I thought maybe I should do something different. I could write about that horrific day, the emotions I dealt with and the PTSD I have from the events of that day...or I could talk … Continue reading 365 Days Without My Husband
I'm sitting here and my emotions are taking over me, I can feel my anxiety building. The "countdown" has begun. There are 11 days until THAT day, the dreaded day, the one year anniversary of my husband's passing, the day that changed everything for me and all our family and friends. Today is one of … Continue reading The Countdown Has Begun To The One Year Anniversary Of My Husbands Death
I've never been a huge Valentine's Day person. I don't dislike the holiday, I just have never really cared much about getting flowers or gifts for it. I think it's a million times more special when you get flowers or a card/gift on a completely random day and then you know that your spouse/significant other … Continue reading You’re My Significant Otter – Valentine’s Day Without My Partner
After my husband passed away I took a little time off from work, about a month and a half. When it was time to go back I worried about a lot of things. You just can't imagine all the feelings that going back to work (and "normal" everyday life) brings up in a situation like … Continue reading Those Shaking Hands – The Struggles To Head Back To Work After Becoming A Widow
The "what-ifs", these are some of the hardest things to work through during the grief journey. It brings out regret, guilt and anger. Recently I had an appointment with a cardiologist to have a stress test performed. For those who don't know what that is, it's basically having pictures of your heart taken, then walking … Continue reading The “What-ifs” Can Eat At You After The Death Of A Loved One
The Bluebird Widow 